January 2012
28 posts
Falling Apart
I woke up with an ache in my left shoulder blade. I figured I pulled a muscle in my sleep. Not a big deal.
Then I sneezed and someone simultaneously stabbed me in the back with a chef’s knife and I collapsed on the floor from the sudden pain.
I’ll be focusing on not sneezing for the rest of the day.
Camel predicts Giants will win the Super Bowl →
What do camels know about football anyway?
I want to know what the octopi are saying.
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Patriots - Giants Participation Report →
Neither the Patriots nor the Giants held practices today, but the teams still released their Participation Reports listing who would have had limited or no participation in such practices had they actually been held.
“There is a potential that there are companies that are using aborted human...”
– Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey, who filed a bill to ban the making and selling in that state of food or products that use aborted human fetuses.
Oklahoma. Where all the important issues have been solved.
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My State of the Union Story
The State of the Union Address is tonight, and that has reminded me of my State of the Union story.
When I was in my senior year of college in 1991/1992, the prospects of getting a job after graduation were rather grim. The country was in a recession, with unemployment over 7%. Many of my classmates were applying to graduate schools, not because of any desire for more education, but as a way to...
My first conversation at work this morning was a...
I need a new life.
Great Timing
My stepfather just called to tell me that he’s sitting in his house with no heat because the furnace stopped working this morning because of a failed part and it’s such a new model that no one nearby carries replacement parts and they have to wait for a part to get shipped overnight from the factory.
But this shouldn’t be that bad because he has a pellet stove in the family room...
10 Reasons The U.S. Is No Longer The Land Of The... →
I’m still catching up on news from the last few days. I just read Jonathan Turley’s column from Sunday, which gives a great (sad, really) overview of why the last decade has been miserable for civil liberties in the United States. Here’s the wrap-up below, but the whole article is worth a read.
An authoritarian nation is defined not just by the use of authoritarian powers, but...
He would have appreciated this.
At the end of my father-in-law's wake on Sunday, Kathy's step-sister and I were the last two people in the receiving room.
Her: It got really quiet all of a sudden.
Me: I know. It's like a morgue.
“In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate...”
– Hospital-Acquired Infection - Wikipedia
Thank you for your hearts and kind words
I do not think that word means what you think it...
A couple of years ago, my company’s marketing group started publishing an internal newsletter for the purpose of keeping everyone up to date with recent company & employee developments.
The newsletter is titled “[Redacted] Quarterly Review”.
Today’s edition brings the average time between issues to 7.3 months.
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“Despite warnings from the media and other agencies in South Korea, it seems it...”
– Fan death - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (via rrrrred)
It’s being kept silent because of a world-wide conspiracy to kill off those who sleep with a fan. Only the Koreans will survive.
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8 Things I've Done That Most Tumblepeople Probably...
Broke my arm while flying a kite
Backpacked across Bali
Watched a sunrise from atop an active volcano *shakes fist at fuiru*
Drove over a bridge that I designed
Ate a banana without peeling it
Completely melted a 32-gallon (120-litre) trash can
Raised a litter of racing greyhounds
Appended a pointless item to the end of a list post in order to achieve some arbitrary number goal for that...
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best of tumblr generator →
My BEST posts of 2011
December: 13 notes
November: 23 notes
October: 30 notes
September: 17 notes
August: 33 notes
July: 36 notes
June: 14 notes
May: 9 notes
April: 20 notes
March: 13 notes
February: 14 notes
January: 16 notes
Generated using the best of tumblr tool.
“I’ve got a lightsaber in my pants.”
– The chorus of a new song by Aidan and Brian, sung while dancing with a lightsaber extended down the inside of their pajama pants’ leg.
Also, my new pickup line.
Finishing up 2011 by watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop
It’s a pretty fitting end to the year.
I need an egg nog.
December 2011
76 posts
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Sarah just disappeared for a bit.
She reappeared with her hair completely smeared with Vaseline.
Is this a new treatment the girls are doing now?
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Sarah is sing-songing the word "mortadella"
It’s out of the blue, and she keeps repeating it.
I have no idea.
But it’s catchy.
Morrrt-ah-delllla
Morrrt-ah-delllla
Morrrt-ah-delllla
Currently watching the second catheter...
I hate it when Kathy puts on Lifetime.
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Gutters
The company I hired to clean our gutters sent me an invoice for the work they said they did last week. Because our gutters still resemble planting beds, I called the company to politely point this out to them.
Turns out the crew went to the right address in the wrong town.
Merry Christmas Sister-House in Foxboro!
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Really. Check out the website. →
It just exudes hate.
Isn't it a little early for this?
The Hobbit isn’t coming to theaters for another year, but that isn’t stopping at least one group, Christians for a Moral America, from calling for a boycott.
Invading your local cinema next winter is a new work of evil The Hobbit. The Hobbit follows on from the Lord Of The Rings trilogy and seemingly has brought everyone back to “Middle Earth” from the dead. Peter...
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Dear Intarwebs:
coyotesqrl:
polar-bear:
The phrase you are looking for is “lo and behold” - it’s not “low”.
The lo is a shortening of the Middle English word “loke”, which means look. This allows the expression to actually make sense, as in “look and see”, not some kind of gibberish nonsense like “below the general level and observe”.
Just thought you might want to know.
KTHNXBAI
I think ‘low and behold’...
WatchLast night, Kathy put on a one-hour special on TLC called Extreme Cheapskates. I don’t really like these types of shows because most of the time the people are clearly overplaying for the cameras, and this show was certainly no exception. I’m bringing it up because I subsequently went and had a dream about it.
One of the threads in the show is about Jeff spending the day scrounging up...
“Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil...”
– Rick Perry
“Would it be strange if they had developed a technology to induce cancer and no...”
– Hugo Chavez on the possibility that the United States is somehow behind the spike in cancer cases amongst South American leaders.
I’m sure he’s on to something here. I mean, with cancer being so rare, what else could it be?
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