In most of our proposals, we typically include a one- or two-paragraph bio of key personnel that would work on the project. Our marketing assistant just forwarded me the standard one typically included for me and asked me to “vamp it up” for a new proposal she’s working on. So I reworded some things and then tacked on to the end:
He is handsome, well-mannered, and possesses a keen wit. His hobbies include flamenco dancing and studying 15th century Belgian poetry. He has impeccable taste in socks.
I give it even odds that she pastes this into the proposal without reading it.
Fellow officers weren’t exactly jumping at the chance to follow former Ukranian Navy Commander-in-Chief Rear Admiral Denis Berezovsky, who had his job all of one day before quitting to join the Russians.
The officers listened sullenly as Berezovsky tried to entice them over to the newly proclaimed Crimean fleet he now heads – assuring them they would retain their ranks and there would be no interruption of salary payments.
"Viktor Yanukovych is the legitimately elected president of Ukraine," he told them, arguing there would be no breach of oath if they served Crimea. "The seizure of power in Kiev was orchestrated from abroad."
When Berezovsky requested questions from the officers, a chorus of criticism broke from the ranks. “In what way exactly did foreign powers intervene in Kiev, compared to the way they are intervening now in Crimea?” asked an officer to applause from those assembled. “Don’t ask provocative questions,” Berezovsky barked back.
Was it like this for Bill Belichick when he quit to join the Patriots after one day as HC of the NYJ?
Aidan wanted to have a chess party. So he invited seven friends over this evening for two hours of pizza and chess. I was skeptical. Was ‘chess’ a code word for something? What would a bunch of nine-year-old boys be doing that they needed a code word for?
It turns out, chess.
They played chess. For two hours. Mostly.
Now, it was loud chess. We shut them in the basement, but it felt like they were in the living room with us. And at one point there was a minor injury. But still, chess.
I don’t know where the enthusiasm comes from. We don’t play chess at home. Apparently it’s what they do in school at recess.
During a prison visit with his sister, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the accused Boston Marathon bomber, made a statement that was “to his detriment” that was overheard by an FBI agent, federal prosecutors said today in a court filing.
The filing said that Tsarnaev, despite the presence of an FBI agent who was legally allowed in the room, along with an employee of the federal public defender’s office, “was unable to temper his remarks and made a statement to his detriment which was overheard by the agent.”
That’s it. That’s the whole story.
Thanks, Boston Globe.
EDIT: They’ve added to the story. Someone must’ve pushed the publish button too soon.
I can’t wait until tonight to watch the Olympic closing ceremonies that the rest of the world already got to watch and that NBC will cut several scenes out of and then interrupt 3/4 of the way through so they can premiere that sitcom they’ve been plugging during every commercial break for the last two weeks.
“The law is breathtaking in its scope. It gives bigotry against us gays and lesbians a powerful and unprecedented weapon. But your mean-spirited representatives and senators know this. They also know that it is going to be struck down eventually by the courts. But they passed it anyway, just to make their hateful opinion of us crystal clear.
So let me make mine just as clear. If your Governor Jan Brewer signs this repugnant bill into law, make no mistake. We will not come. We will not spend. And we will urge everyone we know–from large corporations to small families on vacation–to boycott. Because you don’t deserve our dollars. Not one red cent.”—Razing Arizona - George Takei giving Gov. Jan Brewer fair warning to veto S.B. 1062 (via diegueno)
We took the kids to the movies this afternoon to see Nut Job. Pretty good kids movie. The kids all liked it, probably because of all the physical comedy. I was entertained by the unexpected abundance of nut-based puns.
This was the first time that I had been to a movie theater since Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. After paying way too much money for a babysitter, movie tickets, and snack bar on a movie that was good right up until the opening theme music ended, I’ve stayed away.
If you had told 25-year-old me that I would have a six-year drought of movie-going that would finally be broken by a movie about squirrels trying to steal nuts from bank robbers, I would have thought you were crazy. But there it is.
Maybe if Crystal Skull had had more puns, this wouldn’t have happened.
After seven years of litigation, two trips to a federal appeals court and $3.8 million worth of lawyer time, the public has finally learned why a wheelchair-bound Stanford University scholar was cuffed, detained and denied a flight from San Francisco to Hawaii: FBI human error.
FBI agent Kevin Kelley was investigating Muslims in the San Francisco Bay Area in 2004 when he checked the wrong box on a terrorism form, erroneously placing Rahinah Ibrahim on the no-fly list.
What happened next was the real shame. Instead of admitting to the error, high-ranking President Barack Obama administration officials spent years covering it up. Attorney General Eric Holder, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, and a litany of other government officials claimed repeatedly that disclosing the reason Ibrahim was detained, or even acknowledging that she’d been placed on a watch list, would cause serious damage to the U.S. national security. Again and again they asserted the so-called “state secrets privilege” to block the 48-year-old woman’s lawsuit, which sought only to clear her name.
Because it’s really worth upending an innocent person’s life for seven years to protect yourself from being embarrassed.
Perhaps you read about, or were actually duped by, the article Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi on the satirical news site The Daily Currant. The story purports that the technical specialist in charge of the five giant snowflakes that were supposed to transform into the Olympic Rings during the opening ceremonies, but which malfunctioned, was found dead in his hotel room with multiple stab wounds. Despite the clear evidence of a wrongful death, investigators seemed to think that the wounds could have been from almost anything, and that the death was probably accidental.
This story is so outlandish that I am dumfounded that people were taken in by such nonsense.
If you’ll recall, at the opening ceremonies in Vancouver four years ago, one of the four arms of the cauldron malfunctioned and failed to rise from the floor of the stadium. Canada reacted to this mishap by poking fun of the situation in the opening act of the closing ceremonies, where they had a mime pretend to fix the arm and rise to complete the cauldron.
Russia, always on the lookout for ways to prove their superiority, must go above and beyond Canada’s cheeky redress. Most likely they will start the closing ceremonies by bringing out the technician in question and execute him in the center of the stadium, live on television in front of the world (9-hour delay in the United States).
The idea that the Russians would kill the guy and play it off as an accident is preposterous.
I sent out an email to several coworkers announcing that we have a major project deadline scheduled for April 23, but because that’s also Administrative Professional’s Day I want to submit a week early in order to avoid conflicts with that holiday.