[video]
[video]
[video]
Sometimes I have fun with intake forms.
Dinner.
Tomorrow is Camera-Up-The-Butt Day. It’s also Camera-Down-The-Throat Day. The hospital was having a two-for-one special that I just couldn’t pass up. They tried to sell me on a Camera-Up-The-Urethra procedure, but it was out of my price range.
So tonight is Big-Jug-O’-Laxative Night. Also known as The Big Flush.
Cheers!
The contractor on one of the projects for which we’re doing the construction inspection worked overnight last night to complete a time-sensitive task that has to be done at night to minimize traffic impacts.
I got in this morning to find out they only completed half the work. They need to go back out tonight. The people that we would normally send out to inspect the work are all on vacation as of today. Because it’s my project, and because I didn’t have the foresight to schedule a vacation around this weekend, it appears that I’m going to be tonight’s inspector.
“No shit, you were a finalist on ‘The Voice’? Pretty sweet that you were able to parlay that into a gig at a bowling alley in Revere.”
This is actually quite sophisticated for Revere.
![From the Tri-Town Transcript:
The Boxford police had their hands full when a call came into the station at 9:11 p.m. concerning six black-and-white cows on the loose in the area of Main and Foster streets.
[…]
“At that point, the cows decided to run behind a Main Street house where there was a party of young adult females in the backyard,” recalled Lt. Riter.
“I could hear them [the girls] screaming in the backyard and I hoped they weren’t getting trampled,” said Riter. He witnessed about 10-13 young people run from a picnic table where they had been drinking beer when the cows arrived. The young women all jumped up on the rear deck of the house to avoid contact with the cows.
Meanwhile, the party cows were helping themselves to the beer, knocking the beer-filled cups off the table. “I saw one cow drinking the beer on its way down as it spilled off the table,” the lieutenant said.
“Some of the cows were also picking through the empties in the recycling bin,” said Lt. Riter. “They just went in and helped themselves.”
Party Cows!](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4jy8nOrFU1qzwhi1o1_r1_500.jpg)
From the Tri-Town Transcript:
The Boxford police had their hands full when a call came into the station at 9:11 p.m. concerning six black-and-white cows on the loose in the area of Main and Foster streets.
[…]
“At that point, the cows decided to run behind a Main Street house where there was a party of young adult females in the backyard,” recalled Lt. Riter.
“I could hear them [the girls] screaming in the backyard and I hoped they weren’t getting trampled,” said Riter. He witnessed about 10-13 young people run from a picnic table where they had been drinking beer when the cows arrived. The young women all jumped up on the rear deck of the house to avoid contact with the cows.
Meanwhile, the party cows were helping themselves to the beer, knocking the beer-filled cups off the table. “I saw one cow drinking the beer on its way down as it spilled off the table,” the lieutenant said.
“Some of the cows were also picking through the empties in the recycling bin,” said Lt. Riter. “They just went in and helped themselves.”
Party Cows!
For those of you in the Boston area, the 30th annual Scooper Bowl® is going to be held on City Hall Plaza from Tuesday, June 5 – Thursday, June 7.
It’s the largest all-you-can-eat ice cream festival in the country. Tickets are $10, with the proceeds going to the Jimmy Fund.
All the ice cream you can eat for just $10, and it benefits cancer research! How can you say no to that?
I guess maybe if you’re a vegan. Or you have a casein allergy. Or you just don’t like ice cream (*gasp*). But for you people, Ciao Bella Gelato® will have two kinds of sorbet on hand! So now you have no excuse.
For everyone else, there will be 35 other flavors of ice cream and frozen yogurt. I personally am looking forward to trying out Mission Fig.
GPOYW Hanging Out Beneath An Old Brick Sewer Main Edition
Because someday you might drop something, perhaps a bottle of olive oil, onto your laptop, causing the hard drive to make some faint clicking noises before sinking into the icy depths of eternal sleep.
[video]
There were cupcakes this weekend.
Brian started playing t-ball this Spring in a league for four-year-olds at the YMCA. If you’ve never watched a t-ball game featuring children of this age group, you should know that the game only marginally resembles it’s older brother, baseball. Most of the kids know little about the game, swing the bat as if blindfolded, run with the grace of drunk moose, and throw the ball, well, like four-year-olds. When playing “defense”, it’s a stroke of luck if they happen to have their gloves on and are facing the general direction of the batter when the ball is hit.
There are, exceptions, of course. This morning, one of the boys on the other team, let’s call him Matt, had clearly been in training for quite a while. When Matt first came up to bat, I was a little stunned when the coaches (teenage Y staffers) moved the tee out of the way to pitch to him. I was more stunned when he hit a smoking line drive that whizzed by the fielders standing only 20 feet (6 meters) away.
One of parents called the league coordinator over to express his concern that someone was going to get hurt by this kid, and that it wasn’t helped by the staff members who were pitching to him, which results in even harder hit balls. The coordinator agreed that when Matt came to bat, the coaches would have all the fielders move well back so they wouldn’t get hurt.
So Matt still gets to have the ball pitched to him, and Brian’s team gets to play the game without risk of a concussion. Everyone wins, right?
Not according to Matt’s father, apparently. He was overheard saying that the parent who complained ought to have his limbs cut off and put in the trunk of his car.