Chris' Tumblr

Jul 19

Moles and bruises are scary things

Jul 18

Pangolin GIF of the Day

[video]

Jul 16

How to write a sincere farewell message

This is wonderful. Last week, one of my coworkers left the company and emailed a farewell message to everyone. Today, another coworker who is leaving also just sent out a farewell email to everyone by taking the first coworker’s email, making some edits to it, and forwarding it. He even forgot to delete the first coworker’s email signature.

First Coworker’s Email:

As most of you heard, I will be leaving [Redacted] this week to move to Arizona. I have enjoyed working for [Redacted], and I appreciate having had this opportunity to work with many of you. Thank you for the support, guidance, and encouragement you have provided me during my time at [Redacted]. Even though I will miss you all here, I am looking forward to this next chapter in my life that brings forth new challenges! With many of you, I have shared a unique camaraderie which I hope will continue in the years to come even though I shall not be here with the company.

I do wish you and the company every success in all its future endeavors.

Best Wishes,

[Redacted]

[Email Signature]

Second Coworker’s Email:

As most of you may have heard, today is my last day at [Redacted]. I have enjoyed working for [Redacted], and I appreciate having had this opportunity to work with all of you.  I have learned a lot in my time here and have a new appreciation for the ‘challenges’ that come with working for municipal clients.

Thank you for the support and guidance you have provided me during my time at [Redacted].

I wish each of you and the company all the success in the future.

Best to all,

[Redacted]

[Email Signature]

[First Coworker’s Email Signature]

At least he took out the part about moving to Arizona.

Jul 11

[video]

I’m glad my son isn’t on this guy’s team

Aidan’s summer baseball league is about half over. His team is in 5th place (out of 14) with a 4-2-0 record, good for 8 points (2 points for a win, 1 point for a tie). Eight teams make the playoffs, so right now it’s looking promising that they’ll do that.

There is one team in the league, though, that might miss the playoffs because their coach is either an idiot and/or an asshole.

The league rules are very specific about the number of innings a kid can pitch and how much rest he must have between appearances. If someone pitches two innings or less, he must have at least one rest day between appearances, even if he only throws one pitch. Translation: under no circumstances can someone pitch two days in a row.

The rules state that the protest committee will decide on the penalty for any violations. Probably because no one had previously been stupid enough to violate the rule, there had been no reason to come up with a pre-determined penalty.

This season, though, the protest committee had to step in after the first week when one coach had someone pitch one inning and then come back the next night to pitch three more in a loss. The committee decided to issue a -1 penalty point to the team in the standings.

The next week, the coach did the same thing: He had someone pitch one inning and then come back the next night to pitch three more, this time in a win.  For this second offense, the committee wiped out the victory and awarded the other team the win via forfeit. So not only did the team not get two points for winning the game, they also got hit with an automatic -1 penalty for a forfeit.

Now this team is down 4 points from where they should be, and they’re looking up at the playoff contenders.

What does one say to a team of nine-year-olds about that? Maybe the guy could try to pass the first one off as him being ignorant about the rules*, but to do it a second time? He should be relieved of duties.

*The league rules are only three pages long, so this would just be an unacceptable excuse.

Jul 10

Endoscopy #137 over. I do it for the Lidocaine. At least that’s what I told the nurses.

Endoscopy #137 over. I do it for the Lidocaine. At least that’s what I told the nurses.

Fun with intake forms.

Fun with intake forms.

Jul 09

[video]

Baby Bunny!
She (he?) thought it was dark enough to sneak out from under the shed and get a snack without being seen.  She (he?) was wrong!

Baby Bunny!

She (he?) thought it was dark enough to sneak out from under the shed and get a snack without being seen.  She (he?) was wrong!

I keep seeing that Prince Fielder photo.
So I’m posting my favorite Prince Fielder GIF in response.

I keep seeing that Prince Fielder photo.

So I’m posting my favorite Prince Fielder GIF in response.

EARWIG IN MY LUNCH BAG

EARWIG IN MY LUNCH BAG

Jul 04

Independence Day Bunny

Independence Day Bunny

Jul 03

My forehead is pockmarked from the shingles blisters I had six weeks ago. The indentations feel strange, and I find myself subconsciously rubbing them. The doc says that they could take up to six months to fully fill in, and that they may not ever fully do so. And there’s not really anything he could recommend to promote that process. Nice. At least they’re not in a highly visible spot.

My forehead is pockmarked from the shingles blisters I had six weeks ago. The indentations feel strange, and I find myself subconsciously rubbing them. The doc says that they could take up to six months to fully fill in, and that they may not ever fully do so. And there’s not really anything he could recommend to promote that process. Nice. At least they’re not in a highly visible spot.

savoystomp replied to your photo:Get with the program, Zynga.
Pot isn’t connected to anything?

It is from above. The game screen is zoomed in.